Zombie Power Pack

Ah, Power Pack, little kid superheroes and the four happiest lil’ rays of sunshine in the Marvel Universe. The only way they can get sweeter is if they had an insatiable craving for human flesh and the muscle to pull your spine out the top of your head. Yep, it’s time to give these four powerhouse tots the Marvel Zombie treatment..

I’m already regretting this post.

• Gee/Alex Power •

I can’t really explain why I made these. I may have been drunk. The goal was to make the creepiest Marvel Zombies I could think of and undead little kids—doesn’t matter if they’re zombies, vampires or ghosts—are always worse than adults. Smaller = creepier. Don’t believe me? Behold the horror of zombie midget!

Apparently these guys actually showed up in one of the Marvel Zombie sequels. And here I thought I was being all original and stuff. Ah well, no new ideas left in the world.

Ingredients: He’s had a bad day. Though—I’m guessing by the weapons—the Avengers had it worse. The body is a standard issue Gee figure (Secret Invasion) but I needed creepier “reaching for you” hands. Those I lifted from an Ultron (Armor Wars). Cap’s shield is actually a repainted U.S.Agent shield (Avengers). U.S.Agent’s disc was less concave than any of the Cap’s and fit better wedged into the little tyke. Mjolnir came courtesy of Thor (Supernova) while Hawkeye’s arrows were pulled from assorted HeroClix/Mage Knight archers. An x-acto blade was used to carve out/widen all of the kids mouths (they’re creepier that way) and ragged bits of flesh are actually small bits of TP held in place with a pinprick of Elmer’s glue and then hardened with Krazy Glue. Acrylic paint, a coat of matte and it’s off to the undead ball pit. Custom Zombie Gee dial here.

• Mass Master/Jack Power •

Aw, look, he’s got a mouthful of Ant-Man…! ADORABLE! Eeesh, it’s harder to justify making these little monstrosities when typing out descriptions of them.

Mmmm, you can really taste the Pym Particles. I tried getting one piece of customizing into the shot but it was too little; I took a tiny scrap of TP, glued one end of it to Ant Man’s bitten torso with a pinprick of Elmer’s and the other end inside Mass Master’s mouth. Then I hardened that with a drop of Krazy Glue and painted to look like raw flesh. Awful.

Ingredients: Base body is a Mass Master Heroclix (Secret Invasion) with a big chunk sliced off his head. That’s a fun sentence. I then found a random, rounded bit of plastic that was slightly smaller than Mass Master’s noggin (probably from a bald Heroclix figure) and glued that in place, making it look like Jack had a nice shiny portion of his skull exposed. Ragged bits of flesh are more of that TP/Krazy Glue trick as outlined in the Gee ingredients. For Jack’s hanging guts I used bits of string that I slightly moistened to keep the threads under control. After I positioned them the way I want (using small drips of Elmer’s Glue to hold ’em in place), a drip or two of Krazy Glue hardened the whole mess. Custom Zombie Mass Master dial here.

And Ant Man..? He’s one of those mini Mech Warrior WizKids figures tweaked with bits index card paper hardened with Krazy Glue and random bits of HeroClix plastic. FUN FACT: Tediously customizing figures as small as Ant-Man can make a person stabby. STABBY! STABBY! STABBY

• Lightspeed/Julie Power •

Hey, check it out, I cut a third-grader in half. I think part of me died making these.

Above is an angle where you can better see Lightspeed’s spinal column poking out of her torso. I connected both halves of the body with her large intestine so–when she walks around–she drags her…ummm, she drags her lower half a few feet behind her. I also painted red hand prints on the dial as “footprints.” This blog posting is gonna be tough to explain to future employers.

Ingredients: You know the drill…base body is a Lightspeed (Secret Invasion) with the ragged flesh/exposed intestines trick as detailed in the Gee and Mass Master write-ups. Anyway, since I made Lightspeed (Secret Invasion) shorter I had to cut off her head (…what did I just type?) and reposition it so she’s looking up. Do they get the internet in prison? Palm-flat hands were needed since she’s using them as feet, so a Dove (Crisis) donated those. I also widened her mouth with an x-acto to give her a creepy look and I think she ended up looking like Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes. Custom Zombie Lightspeed dial here.

Now let’s take an shot look to get a better look at her squishy bits…

…yep, lots of spilled intestines. Now let’s spin her around…

Some delightful bloody handprints left behind as she “walks” to…to…aw, man. I think this is how Dr. Frankenstein must have  felt. I got bored, messed around with things I shouldn’t and BANG, now I’m a monster. Why did I build these things? I can’t even imagine what I’d need to see to “clean my palette,” to get these creepy images out of my head and continue this blog…

…wow. Teeny frog in a nurse cap is pretty cute and comes close to hitting my reset button, but no, I’m still far too creeped out to continue this write up. I’ll just end it early and—

…the hell? Combing a bat’s hair with a toothbrush? Pretty ridiculous, but no, I’m still too grossed out to continue with this week’s column. I doubt there’s a photo cute enough to undo all the evil in this—

BABY BUNNY IN A BONNET! WOO-HOO! All is right in the world! My brain is made of candy! Back to the column!

• Energizer/Katie Power •

Awww, who did the rambunctious Katie Power disembowel and snack on? Let’s take a closer look…

Why, it’s Kofi Whitemane, the benevolent alien who befriended the ‘Pack and became one of the family! He also tastes like chicken.

Reverse angle shows lil’ Katie is pulling out Kofi’s slippery bits by the handful. Such mischief…!

Ingredients: Energizer base body (Secret Invasion) with a heavy dose of the torn flesh/hanging guts modding detailed above. Kofi’s head and feet come courtesy of Moonstar’s horse (Fantastic Forces), the body is Booster Gold (HyperTime) and the hands come courtesy the snot snowman (what?) from Creepy Freaks. Kofi’s tunic is made from index cards three sheets thick (glued together with Elmer’s), then cut to shape and hardened with Krazy Glue. Acrylic paint and matte finish took this little abomination home. Custom Zombie Energizer dial here.

…and that’s it, I’m out of horrible undead babies. I was gonna end with something even worse than zombie Power Pack—a clip of the terrible Power Pack live-action TV pilot—but I couldn’t find any footage of it online. Just as well. This column was awful enough.