The Penguin

“Fat guy in a littllle coat…”

Ah, the Penguin.

There’s worse Batman villains–the Ventriloquist, Mad Hatter, Maxie Zeus–but there is no Bat baddie I dislike more than Mr. Cobblepot. A fat guy in a tux with trick umbrellas? And he fights a superhero whose gimmick is that he’s the scariest mutherf*cker on Earth…? I just don’t get it. Yeah, there’s been a couple of good Penguin stories (this one is my fave…)

…but that’s an exception to the rule. I think the reason he rubs me the wrong way so much is that he–along with the Joker and the Riddler–is considered one the top three Batman rogues (is Catwoman still considered a Bat-villain?). Joker, Riddler, they have a great look, a clear purpose, they deliver a legit threat level. They’ve earned their marquee status. But Penguin…? How did he get to be part of that A-list?

Two words: Burgess Meredith.

If he wasn’t so good in that role on the old Adam West Batman TV show, the Penguin would be just another third tier Bat-baddie, he wouldn’t have anywhere near as much street cred as he does and I wouldn’t be subjected to his absurdity on such a regular basis.

How’s that for a lead-in to my Penguin mod? I should never MC kids parties.

So a few years back I customized this sucker for a friend who, regrettably, is a big Penguin fan. The only ‘Clix available for the character at the time was the white tuxedo version from Cosmic Justice so I broke out the acrylics, took a deep breath and wasted an hour of my life that I’ll never get back…

Ingredients: Base body is a Penguin (Cosmic Justice) and…well, that’s about it. The original “bird-themed ice cream man” look was replaced with the classic color scheme from the old Kenner Super Powers action figure line. Some acrylic paint, a FWISH! of matte sealant and the Peng…I almost wrote “the Penguin looks less ridiculous,” but that’s be a lie. Custom Penguin dial here.

EDIT: CarlosMucha over at HCRealms pointed out that a Super Powers color scheme would feature a blue jacket, not black. He’s right, and that’s what I get for not using reference. Weird…when I think “Super Powers Penguin,” in my mind I can totally see him in a black jacket. BY MY BRAIN BETRAYED!

Looking at this figure now–years after I modded him–I have NO idea why I didn’t x-acto those lil’ penguins off the base. I have nothing against them as birds: I love penguins (lower case “P”). But as sidekicks to a villain who fights Batman…? Ugh, it just drains the life out of me. I’m not a fan of cutesy things in comics like that.

Alright, enough with this rant, let’s bring this love-fest to a close with the Dark Knight squaring off against Clown Prince of pork rinds…