Lord Satanis

To a twelve year-old me, if a comic book character had no face and glowing eyes, he immediately became one of my favorites. Mostly because I loved drawing superheroes, and I sucked at faces. But two red dots inside a shadowy helmet…? Even awful artist me could handle that.

So, Lord Satanis. I was a Marvel-only fan when I spotted this issue of ACTION COMICS on the newsstand (I had yet to discover the Wolfman/Pérez TEEN TITANS, the series that made me fall in love with the DC Universe). But man, this Lord Satanis dude looked pretty slick. And if he could capture Superman, he had to be a rough dude.

But 60¢…? That was a LOT of bread in 1982. I could either buy one of my tried-and-true Marvel comics, or roll the dice on a DC book. I couldn’t afford both. Screw it: Satanis had no face. I was IN! Long story short: the issue itself wasn’t all that great (tho it was written by TITANS scribe Marv Wolfman). It did, however, provide me with another guy to draw on the cover of my school binder. Lord Satanis vs. Moon Knight FTW!

It’s because of all those endless drawings I developed a soft spot for Satanis, a character who’s look a friend once described as “When did Magneto start selling ice cream?” Yeah, Satanis gets no respect, but I dig ’em. So much in so, I made a custom Heroclix… As far as modding goes, this guy was fairly simple. The base figure is a Magneto from the Ultimates ‘Clix set, and most of the iconic costume elements were already in place: big billowing cape, spooky helmet, macho stance. It needed only the most minor of customization… Using index card paper glued three sheets-thick, I cut and shaped Satanis’ skirt. I made it concave by gently bending the index card around a pencil, then used a few pinpricks of Elmer’s to hold it in place on the figure. Index paper one sheet thick was added and used for the trim.

When happy with the skirt, I carefully dripped some Krazy Glue on it (as well as where it connected to the figure), and blotted the excess with a paper towel. The index card drank up the Krazy Glue, making it a kind of polymer. Same ingredients went into that collar, which — when I look at it in these photos — could have been a little smaller. It’s a bit…much. Ah, screw it: he shops at the same store as Iron Fist.

The jewel on Satanis’ helmet was the tip of a Heroclix figure’s thumb (I forget which character donated it: it must have been a big monster-type guy, like the Hulk or something). The rounded belt buckle came courtesy of the top of a bald ‘Clix figure’s noggin. Moving on, let’s take a look at the least impressive angle of this figure… It’s like a wad of white chewing gum. Let’s check his stats… Seeing how Lord Satanis is one of them all-powerful magic types, he has a loaded dial full of hocus-pocus. Phasing to teleport through time and space, mind control to break the will of others, probability control to make the game less fun for his opponents…he’s got it all, plus a range of ten and two lightning bolts for split attacks. A steal at 200 points. But what about the fancy boxed powers on his first two clicks? Let’s flip the dial over to see what probably-broken power I gave this guy… Every figure that’s even a sort-of leader should have Leadership. It’s too good a power, every ‘Clix team should have a leader, and there should be hundreds of leaders to choose from. I have spoken. Make it so.

Anyway, his box power: In addition to Poison, Lord Satanis can, as part of any move or combat action, cast a spell and encase enemy figures in a force field bubble (check those bubbles out here). What self-resepcting supervillain magic guy DOESN’T trap an opponent and force them to watch helplessly as he KO’s their teammate? Yeah, it’s kinda powerful, but he needs to be badass. Why…? No face. Glowing eyes. Twelve year-old me demands it.