The Hate Monger

SONUVA…!

Purple David Duke is melting somebody’s Marvel Legend action figures! I hope whoever owns those toys hid the Ronan build-a-fig they came with. It goes for a mint on ebay.

Enough nonsense, let’s get a better look at the ray of sunshine that is this post…

…ah yes, the Hate Monger. Back in the early days of the Marvel U, the team of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were on fire, creating bigger and badder supervillains with every issue. Dr. Doom, the Green Goblin, Magneto, pretty much every villainous A-lister active today was created back then, but what happens when you’re backed into a corner and need to out-evil your past creations…?

Yup, when all else fails, Hitler.

And if that fails, WEREWOLF HITLER…

Okay, technically that’s a different guy wearing the Hate Monger getup, but the idea of werewolf Hitler in a purple smock was too awesome not to put out there. And how much awesomer would it be if they were the same guy…? Hate Monger pulls off his first mask to reveal Hitler beneath, then tugs at that face and reveals a werewolf beneath. It’d be like the ending of The Prisoner, only less confusing.

A’ight, I’m all over the place with this post. Let’s get to the Heroclix custom…

Ingredients: This is normally where I detail what the custom is made of, but with the exception of his hood (Ragman/ Collateral Damage) I can’t remember what figs were cannibalized for the Purple Führer. I made him at the request of a friend years ago and I’m drawing a blank. I can say that the bumps on his “chainmail” and the smock trimmings are all bits of index card shaped by x-acto, held in place with a pinprick of Elmer’s and then hardened with a drip of Krazy Glue. A few coats of acrylic paint, some matte spray and HM’s a wrap. Custom Hate Monger dial here.

If you can eyeball what base body that is–I’m pretty sure it’s a ‘Clix figure, not a Mage Knight–drop the info down in the comments. It’s buggin’ me that I can’t think of it.

One more Hate Monger bit of nonsense before I go. Take a good, long look at the below cover and see if you can see the unintentional silliness. Once you see it, you won’t be able to unsee it…

…yeah, the Red Skull in the top corner box is wearing the Sorting Hat. “Let’s see, Johann, what house shall we — SLYTHERIN! Holy s#hit, SLYTHERIN!”

That’s it, the end.

Assorted Hate Monger stuff from around the web…

Cute cartoon I found on someone’s blog

Custom Hate Monger action figure

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7 Responses

  1. If there’s one thing that the Hate Monger is great at monging, it’s hate.

  2. And spelling.

    ; )

    I thought maybe “monging” was “the act of a monger,” but when I did a Google search it only came up as part of the Urban Dictionary and…uh, actually, even money says Hate Monger has been to some monging parties with Baron Blood.

    ick.

    • Well, the correct present tense verb participle is actually “mongering.”

      But yeah, I bet the Hate Monger mongs hate like a champ.

  3. This is by far my favorite post, and yes, mainly because it’s (sad to say) Captain America’s Rogues Gallery of sorts. But man, you mean they actually did make all those other characters?!? Baron Blood? Even Arnim Zola?!?!?!?!? I thought those were customs. Sheeesh!!!!!

    But nice job on Hate Monger! Wonder if HeroClix would consider doing a “maskless variant.”

  4. One thing I noticed when gathering up playmates for Hate Monger’s photo shoot is that if you’re a Cap villain, you can kiss your looks goodbye:

    Red Skull – face became a skull
    Baron Zemo – face glued to mask forever
    Baron Zemo II – face melted off
    Arnim Zola – face now on chest
    Dr. Faustus – fat

    Cap has made it pretty clear: f*ck with him he will ruin your FACE!

  5. Those pics are solid gold, but the top prize has to go to the pic of the HITLER WEREWOLF. No explanation could make that better.

  6. “Hitler Werewolf” is a good name for a band.

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