Conan

Man, Savage Sword of Conan had some pretty badass covers. Full SSoC cover gallery here.

Anyway, how are there CrossGen HeroClix but no Conan ‘Clix? The interest may not be there for the full Marvel or DC treatment, but c’mon, there’re enough characters for a boxed set or two. Red Sonja, Wrarrl, Thulsa Doom, Belit, Thoth Amon, Valeria and all sorts of monstrous beasties. And that’s not even counting all the Conans…King Conan, Warpaint Conan, Behold-my-nipples-I’m-only-wearing- a-loincloth-Conan, it’s endless. But nope, no Cimmerians. So I built one…

This was a pretty easy custom figure to put together, I just…

…okay, I gotta jump back into those Savage Sword covers for a second. I grew up on those things–almost had a full set–and early on I came to the conclusion that out of all the characters in fiction, none are harder to surprise or freak out than Conan. He’s seen more crazy sh*t than the X-Men, Dr. Who and Scully & Mulder combined. What’s fun is to imagine Conan’s inner dialogue when dealing with the crazy:

Here, Conan celebrates Caturday. “Der iz no ‘Z’ in ‘cheezburgah!'” You tell ’em, Conan.

A perfect snapshot of the craziness that is Conan’s life. Here our barbarian pal gets into a shouting match with a pterodactyl (while riding it!) as giant Vince McMahon looks on.

Okay, enough with the silliness, back to the Conan mod already in progress:

The toughest part of customizing this figure was deciding what weapon to give him. I’ve always dug the look of a short handle double-sided war ax, but in the end I went with a broad sword. It’s the weapon he’s most commonly associated with and…

…okay, wait, two more Savage Sword covers:

ABOVE: Why Conan is banned from the Monterey Aquarium. “Ha! Gotcher nose!” That is one confused eel.

The above image is–HOLY SH*T, WHO THE F*CK KILLS PEOPLE LIKE THAT?!? Okay, I get the whole “barbarian” thing, but come on, stuffing a flaming hot oil lamp down someone’s throat? “You like apples? HOW YOU LIKE DESE APPLES?!? HAHA!”

The same thing’ll happen to the PETA rep who throws paint on Conan’s animal-hide loin cloth.

Alright, I got the SSoC covers out of my system. Back to the mini plastic Cimmerian…

Ingredients: Base body is a Ka-Zar (Sinister) with…well, not much changed. I swiped the right hand & sword from some random Mage Knight figure (it’s been awhile, I don’t remember which) and the gauntlets are small strips of index card paper shaped with an x-acto, held in place with a pinprick of Elmer’s and then hardened with a drip of Krazy Glue. Acrylic paint, a light coat of matte sealant and Crom was pleased. Custom Conan dial here.

As an aside, if you’ve ever toyed with the idea of trying your hand at miniature customizing, this Ka-Zar-to-Conan mod would make for a good first attempt. You can see in the above pic how close the mod (Conan) is to the untouched base body (Mr. Zar). You’re looking at minor Frankensteining with the hand swap and minimal paint apps. If you wanna get crazy, give ’em a shield in his left hand, one of those smaller round wooden jobs. He’ll need one against this guy…

“Crom! Give me all yer wine and cheeses!” The big Warduke-lookin’ guy is Wraal, by the way. Fun villain, more on him here, more Conan vs. below…

…and thus this charade draws to a close. To distract you from the lack of heavily-modded content this week, here’s a bunch of other Conan stuff from around the web.

First up, a quick vid from the Conan MMO that’s impossible not to laugh at. Seriously, this sums up most of my MMO experiences.

Here’s Arnold providing the best DVD commentary ever.

Arnold again, this time giving the business to a bear in Central Park.

The greatest non-Conan Conan game ever made.


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12 Responses

  1. Woo, I see some D&D minis in there!

    Man, you can really flip a miniature’s sword around like no one’s business.

  2. I keep all my D&D/Mage Knight minis is two giant tupperware containers, all jumbled and tangled up, the bits that break off kept in ziploc bags inside those containers. It’s a chaotic mess that would offend any D&D collector.

    As for defending myself against that “flip a sword around like no one’s business”…I can’t. I was gonna explain how I actually had to replace the entire hand at the wrist, but that’s really not all that impressive.

    I should have given Conan a big fuzzy pimp hat. Now THAT would have been milestone in figure customization.

  3. Hey, all I can manage to do is sort my minis. I don’t think I’ve finished a single piece of terrain I’ve ever started.

  4. I love building terrain. It’s so much easier than modding little plastic figures.

    I’ll make you a deal:

    I’ll build you some badass, super customizable D&D terrain IF you put together a program that would allow me to print out custom HeroClix dials (those circular pieces of paper that show all of a figure’s stats). I know you’re more a fantasy gamer than superhero fan, but if you’ve ever seen a Mage Knight figure, it’s essentially the same thing. Something that would allow me to choose what numbers go in a slot, allow me to fill a box with a color, do reverse type when necessary, all that fun stuff.

    I have no idea what would go into something like that, so if it’s an insane amount of programming, no worries about telling me to do that “long walk/short pier” thing.

    I’m also looking into getting one of those magnifying glasses mounted on a stand so I don’t go blind customizing these little buggers.

  5. Actually, when I was reading the bit about cutting out little squares and gluing them on dials my first thought was “That sounds painful… he could use Illustrator or something to do that!” But now you have mind buzzing… Hrm…

  6. You know what? I bet you CAN’T come up with a program to create custom HC dials.

    …that oughta do it.

  7. Does this one work for you?
    http://www.aduckwhat.com/robert/heroclix/customs_view.cfm

    I saw some posts saying it doesn’t work anymore. I’ll let you be the one to create a user and see if it still works 😉

  8. I’ve been messing around with the site and it might work. The custom dials it lets you build aren’t printer friendly, though I’m working around that. I’ll *yawn* mess around with it more tomorrow when I’m less sleepy and mihqxc hgc qcg ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz…*

  9. Let me know if it works for you. I started messing around with some ideas, but don’t have anything decent to show yet. I think the hardest part is the math for generating the numbers in a circle.

  10. So I messed around with it a bit more. If I make a dial in that program, take a picture of my screen, crop that down to just the dial, import it into a word document and resize it, I can get it to the right HeroClix dial size. Overall, kind of “eh.” I don’t mind jumping through all those hoops, but the final image isn’t terribly crisp.

  11. I have a dial template that I use in Photoshop to create the dials. It’s not automatic and a little cumbersome, but easier than your cutting and paste method. Split powers are a little tricky, but not too bad. I use gloss photo/sticker paper to print them and they come out pretty clean. Then I just cut them out, peel the back, and stick them on.

    I was working on automating the whole thing, but the split powers logic killed it. Need to get numbers half white and half black. I have an idea on how to get it to work, but haven’t had the time. Until I get it automated, I’ll make you a deal…You make me a Usagi custom, and I’ll create all the dials you need.

  12. ….screw Usagi Yojimbo, I want an MC Stab Master Arson figure!

    I’ll happily make an Usagi figure (how can anyone not like a bunny with a sword?), but what I’m looking for is a dial-making engine that I can use myself, either a host site or an application I can download. I only get to work on customs in small spurts, so I need something I can access at odd hours and turn around on short notice.

    The site Splith posted earlier in this thread works *sorta* well, I’m still playing around with how I can make it print out cleanly. Split powers are something I’d still have to do by hand, but having that site provide the base dial would still be a huge help.

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